Entry: 芷的奢侈宣言 Sunday, December 10, 2006



曾经有人说,他很享受暗恋的感觉。

我想,可能是那种酸酸甜甜涌入心中,欲言又止的滋味,让人为之疯狂吧。

我,宁愿心如止水。

是害怕受伤害。。。 是害怕未知数。。。

是害怕心有灵犀。。。 是害怕卑微的自己。。。

是个懦弱的自己。

总无法相信,自己值得另一个人去爱。

总相信,那么一个优秀的人,是属于另一个比自己更好的人。

最后决定,将赤裸灼热的心   冰封。

不敢去想。。。 不敢去奢望。

在我这样一个人的世界里, 奢望是一种奢侈。

白日梦,就留给梦中人。

“为什么     你为什么
老是把空气全都吸光了

害得我     你害得我
在你面前呼吸急促需要叫救护车

别看我     先别看我
我的脸红就快要爆料了

没什么     哪有什么
我是绝对不会承认我喜欢你了

怎么办     感觉甜又酸
偷偷爱你快乐又孤单

怎么办    爱却不能讲
你真讨厌不来帮我的忙

你怎么可以这样      笑容打败太阳
甚至比我还要更好看

我虽然无力抵挡      但是日子还长
总有一天换你为我疯狂

为什么    你为什么
这样不讲理的就出现了

害得我    你害得我
连仅有的一点矜持优雅全都毁了

靠近我    别靠近我
到底离你多近比较好呢

完蛋了    我完蛋了
我整个人眼看就快不是我的了”

someone once said that he enjoyed the throes of loving another secretly.

i guess the mixed feelings of sweetness and anxiety... of uncertainty and hope... can be an addictive pyschosis to a person.

and yet, i would rather have a still, still heart.

a fear of being hurt... a fear of the unknown...

a fear of the possibility of being spiritually intimate... a fear of my very real inadequacies...

my very real worthlessness.

i've never been able to believe that i can be worthy of another person's love.

i've always believed that a person with such good attributes would belong to another person better than me.

so i seal a warm beating heart with fragile, inpenetrable ice.

not daring to imagine... not daring to hope.

for a person such as i, hope is too much of a precious luxury.

leave daydreams... for the dreamers.

"Why is it that you always inhibit all the oxygen
See it's all your fault that I can't breathe properly in front of you
I need an ambulance

It's nothing, no it's nothing
I'm never going to admit that it's because I like you

What am I going to do, these sweet yet heartwrenching feelings
Secretly loving you... I feel happy yet lonely

What am I going to do, not being able to say I like you
Why can't you help me out here

Why is it that you appeared with no rhyme or reason
Don't come too close...
Oh! what is a good distance to be near you"

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